There are many reasons people choose to get a divorce. Sometimes there is a laundry list of reasons and sometimes there may only be one deciding factor that led to the decision for a divorce. In any event, here is a list of seven things that could lead to the end of a marriage:
Communication
Having the ability to communicate effectively with your spouse is important for a marriage to thrive. Being able to talk openly on any topic and receive positive feedback and support is tantamount to ensuring you don't become another statistic. Because if you can't tell your significant other how, for example, you didn't appreciate their tone of voice last night, resentment will build up to the point where you might not be able to stand being in the same room as them. Your spouse should be like a best friend. You should be able to discuss what's on your mind and feel confident your spouse will want to be there and listen.
Respect
It's a problem if your spouse does not respect you. He/she should respect your ideas, opinions and decisions. In marriage these days there should be no clear line indicating the husband is better than the wife and vice versa. This isn't the 50's. Your significant other should respect you as a person and treat you like an equal.
Finances
Spending too much, not making enough, losing a job and bankruptcy are all reasons people argue over finances. Fighting over money is a serious issue that leads a lot of marriage's straight to divorce. Discuss your limits, know your budget and in the event you or your spouse loses a job or you have to file for bankruptcy, band together and fight the unfortunate turn of events as a team.
Intimacy
Keeping the intimacy alive is very important if you want to maintain a happy, healthy marriage. Without it you could both lose integral pieces of yourselves. Remember when you first met and got married? Intimacy was probably never a question but an immediate response. Have kids and can't find the time? Try to plan it out using a calendar and work it into your schedule. Although that might sound ridiculous and takes away from the spontaneity, it's much better than having no intimacy at all.
Addiction
Whether it's an affinity for nicotine, gambling, video games or drugs an addiction can tear a marriage apart if not addressed and taken care of properly. If it's a lighter addiction, like video gaming, try to sit your spouse down and work out a time frame for when playing is okay and for when it's time to stop. For the more serious addictions like drugs, drinking and gambling a more dramatic avenue should be explored. Make sure the proper steps are taken to get your spouse the professional help that is needed. A lot of trust will be lost and couples therapy should seriously be considered. Your spouse may be the one with the addiction but you're going to need help, too.
Abuse
Abuse in a relationship can be mental, emotional and/or physical. Mental and emotional abuse consists of your spouse berating you with harsh words. They demean and belittle you and call you names. This barrage will ultimately result in feelings of worthlessness. Physical abuse is just that - physical. Even if your spouse pushes you that is still considered physical abuse. It is extremely unhealthy and in some instances the physical abuse could become so violent that death could occur. If your spouse abuses you in any way you need to seek out shelter and leave.
Infidelity
People all over handle the infidelity of a spouse in different ways. Some immediately leave, some stay and ignore it, some stay and choose to believe their spouse when they say it won't happen again and some stay but seek counseling for themselves and their partner. Those that choose to stay should seek help. Infidelity can be catastrophic to a marriage and learning the keys to surviving it is extremely important.
Communication
Having the ability to communicate effectively with your spouse is important for a marriage to thrive. Being able to talk openly on any topic and receive positive feedback and support is tantamount to ensuring you don't become another statistic. Because if you can't tell your significant other how, for example, you didn't appreciate their tone of voice last night, resentment will build up to the point where you might not be able to stand being in the same room as them. Your spouse should be like a best friend. You should be able to discuss what's on your mind and feel confident your spouse will want to be there and listen.
Respect
It's a problem if your spouse does not respect you. He/she should respect your ideas, opinions and decisions. In marriage these days there should be no clear line indicating the husband is better than the wife and vice versa. This isn't the 50's. Your significant other should respect you as a person and treat you like an equal.
Finances
Spending too much, not making enough, losing a job and bankruptcy are all reasons people argue over finances. Fighting over money is a serious issue that leads a lot of marriage's straight to divorce. Discuss your limits, know your budget and in the event you or your spouse loses a job or you have to file for bankruptcy, band together and fight the unfortunate turn of events as a team.
Intimacy
Keeping the intimacy alive is very important if you want to maintain a happy, healthy marriage. Without it you could both lose integral pieces of yourselves. Remember when you first met and got married? Intimacy was probably never a question but an immediate response. Have kids and can't find the time? Try to plan it out using a calendar and work it into your schedule. Although that might sound ridiculous and takes away from the spontaneity, it's much better than having no intimacy at all.
Addiction
Whether it's an affinity for nicotine, gambling, video games or drugs an addiction can tear a marriage apart if not addressed and taken care of properly. If it's a lighter addiction, like video gaming, try to sit your spouse down and work out a time frame for when playing is okay and for when it's time to stop. For the more serious addictions like drugs, drinking and gambling a more dramatic avenue should be explored. Make sure the proper steps are taken to get your spouse the professional help that is needed. A lot of trust will be lost and couples therapy should seriously be considered. Your spouse may be the one with the addiction but you're going to need help, too.
Abuse
Abuse in a relationship can be mental, emotional and/or physical. Mental and emotional abuse consists of your spouse berating you with harsh words. They demean and belittle you and call you names. This barrage will ultimately result in feelings of worthlessness. Physical abuse is just that - physical. Even if your spouse pushes you that is still considered physical abuse. It is extremely unhealthy and in some instances the physical abuse could become so violent that death could occur. If your spouse abuses you in any way you need to seek out shelter and leave.
Infidelity
People all over handle the infidelity of a spouse in different ways. Some immediately leave, some stay and ignore it, some stay and choose to believe their spouse when they say it won't happen again and some stay but seek counseling for themselves and their partner. Those that choose to stay should seek help. Infidelity can be catastrophic to a marriage and learning the keys to surviving it is extremely important.
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