If you've been married for any length of time, routines and the trials of life have a way of sapping energy and any kind of s.e.x. drive you may have had. So I did a little research and found a "helpful" article on natural foods that will (supposedly) light a fuse in the bedroom.
The first thing is strawberries. Theses little beauties are full of antioxidants which helps improve circulation - great, as I'll need all the help and circulation I can get just to go to the market, pick them up, clean them, then try to sneak them into something that doesn't resemble a fruit cup for Hubby.
Second on the list is eggs. Yes, eggs! 'Cause nothing says romance like a big pile of jiggly, oozing, slightly under (or even over) cooked eggs. Sure it may be high in B6 for an energy boast, but even if you hard boil it (avoiding the gooey white, slimy booger glob) I'll be using all of that new found vigor to get away from the I-have-really-bad-sulfur-gas stench that accompanies the cracking open of one of these delights.
Third on this sex-food list is steak. Of course, who doesn't love a good slab of bloody meat? Personally, steak for me is something I eat on the very rarest of occasions and it needs to be cooked - thoroughly - no blood, no oozing, no pink fluid run-off as I slice into it. Hubby on the other hand loves steak and probably won't need me after he eats one...
The next on the list I totally agree with is chocolate - it's full of a mood enhancing substance called, methylxanthine, or in a menopausal woman's hands - the power to soothe the savage beast. Hubby keeps a stash of these on hand and has actually waved one in front of my face when I'm having a melt down. The very sight of it will magically transform me back to (almost) human status; however, with chocolate, who needs a man?
The list went on to suggest a big dose of garlic. You heard me, garlic. Yeah...okay...Hubby has the intestinal track of a goose and garlic tends to aggravate this condition, so this would be the last choice on my list. Even if it does dilate the blood vessels to the nether-regions, the noxious fumes emanating from another region would pretty much kill the deal.
How about oatmeal? Apparently, this breakfast food increases testosterone levels in your blood. Add some walnuts, which are loaded with the good fatty-acids (which is a major component in sex hormones) and you have yourself a sex-fest-breakfast.
Yeah..nothing says "come hither" like a big bowl of thick, gluey, barf-like substance. Once this hits your stomach you feel like you've eaten a full course Thanksgiving Day meal and all I want to do is take a nap. Not to mention, Hubby is allergic to walnuts, so a "sexy" trip to the emergency room I guess could be considered foreplay?
I realize there's a lot of scientific expertise that goes into these findings, but in my house, after being together for over 25 years, food isn't a sex-starter, it's something to be gobbled down in front of the television and, if it's especially tasty, fought over for the last helping - Hubby will get a fork in his hand if he tries to eat off of MY plate. I think a better topic for an article should suggest foods to turn-off your partner - hmmm, that gives me an idea...
The first thing is strawberries. Theses little beauties are full of antioxidants which helps improve circulation - great, as I'll need all the help and circulation I can get just to go to the market, pick them up, clean them, then try to sneak them into something that doesn't resemble a fruit cup for Hubby.
Second on the list is eggs. Yes, eggs! 'Cause nothing says romance like a big pile of jiggly, oozing, slightly under (or even over) cooked eggs. Sure it may be high in B6 for an energy boast, but even if you hard boil it (avoiding the gooey white, slimy booger glob) I'll be using all of that new found vigor to get away from the I-have-really-bad-sulfur-gas stench that accompanies the cracking open of one of these delights.
Third on this sex-food list is steak. Of course, who doesn't love a good slab of bloody meat? Personally, steak for me is something I eat on the very rarest of occasions and it needs to be cooked - thoroughly - no blood, no oozing, no pink fluid run-off as I slice into it. Hubby on the other hand loves steak and probably won't need me after he eats one...
The next on the list I totally agree with is chocolate - it's full of a mood enhancing substance called, methylxanthine, or in a menopausal woman's hands - the power to soothe the savage beast. Hubby keeps a stash of these on hand and has actually waved one in front of my face when I'm having a melt down. The very sight of it will magically transform me back to (almost) human status; however, with chocolate, who needs a man?
The list went on to suggest a big dose of garlic. You heard me, garlic. Yeah...okay...Hubby has the intestinal track of a goose and garlic tends to aggravate this condition, so this would be the last choice on my list. Even if it does dilate the blood vessels to the nether-regions, the noxious fumes emanating from another region would pretty much kill the deal.
How about oatmeal? Apparently, this breakfast food increases testosterone levels in your blood. Add some walnuts, which are loaded with the good fatty-acids (which is a major component in sex hormones) and you have yourself a sex-fest-breakfast.
Yeah..nothing says "come hither" like a big bowl of thick, gluey, barf-like substance. Once this hits your stomach you feel like you've eaten a full course Thanksgiving Day meal and all I want to do is take a nap. Not to mention, Hubby is allergic to walnuts, so a "sexy" trip to the emergency room I guess could be considered foreplay?
I realize there's a lot of scientific expertise that goes into these findings, but in my house, after being together for over 25 years, food isn't a sex-starter, it's something to be gobbled down in front of the television and, if it's especially tasty, fought over for the last helping - Hubby will get a fork in his hand if he tries to eat off of MY plate. I think a better topic for an article should suggest foods to turn-off your partner - hmmm, that gives me an idea...
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